Thursday, August 26, 2010

School's here...again

Wow, where did the summer go? Everyone always says that, don't they? I catch myself saying the same thing, then I answer myself (yes, I do that alot once everyone goes back to school) with "you had the same # of days you've always had. You need to take a minute and enjoy each one." And I'm right :) But now, whether I rushed through my summer days or not, it's over, and where does that leave me? Well, swamped with work that's piled up for one thing. And alone, for another thing.

A friend of mine said to me the other day that she doesn't do alone very well. I, on the other hand, love my alone time. I love getting lost in my thoughts and whatever I'm doing and not have to answer questions or talk to anyone for a while. What I'm not good at, however, is being still. So even when I'm alone, I feel like I need to be "doing" all the time. I'm not sure why I have so much trouble being still, but it definitely carries over into my time with the Lord. I can be easily distracted by my work, my jobs at home, and my volunteer time at the girls' school and excuse the fact that I didn't kneel before the throne of the Almighty today because what I was doing was important stuff too that needed to get done.

Yes, I know. It sounded really pathetic when I said it out loud, too. But that's way too often the way I live. Psalm 16:11 says, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." How do I know the path of life and joy and eternal pleasures if I'm not seeking Him? He can't make known something to me if I'm not even listening. He can't give me joy if I'm not spending time in His presence.

I'm not sure why it is such a tough thing for women to stop multi-tasking and just be still before Him. But I know one thing. I'm going to sign off, so I can spend time with Him right now. Do you need to do the same?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Giving up YOUR Desires

We went school shopping yesterday--always a fun day for me to take out the girls and let them pick out their paper, notebooks, folders, etc. I'm not sure why that's such a blast for kids, but it really is. Then we go to lunch somewhere fun and spend the afternoon getting their tennis shoes for the year and a couple of outfits. We had such a blast, and the girls actually remembered to say thank you after we left EVERY store. It was really unbelievable!

Our last stop of the day was the Bible bookstore to spend gift cards they had received. They were so excited to see what they could get for their money. As soon as we walked in the door, Jadyn saw a book she knew I wanted and immediately offered to use her money to buy it for me. She argued with me for a minute or two, then was convinced she should use it for something she wanted. They went through the store choosing several items, and for once, Courtney was ready well before Jadyn. Courtney wasn't aware of the conversation with Jadyn, but she saw the same book she knew I wanted. Without my knowledge, she put back a CD she had been wanting for over a year and purchased the book for my birthday. Unfortunately, I didn't know and when I asked to see the CD in the car I was rewarded with tears and "I didn't want you to know. I wanted it to be a surprise!" I felt terrible, but also so grateful for such unselfish little girls.

I'm not telling you this to brag on my kids. Really. Today, she reminded me what totally selfless giving is all about and got me thinking about how often I act that way in my life. Of course, I would give up anything for those I love, but what about those I don't know? What about those who don't like me or treat me well? The Bible says to love our enemies and bless those who persecute us. Do I act like that?

And let's take it a step further. Am I willing to give up my own desires for my Heavenly Father? If I really want to do something, would I give that up if I know God would have me do something else? Even in small matters, like how we spend our extra money. Do I use it all for His glory and good? I hope so. It's easy to say I would give up my own desires for Him, but when we're in that specific situation where it's something we really, really want and it seems soooo "right", do we give it up for Him?