The "joys" of parenthood

There are many joys of parenthood. Some of them unexpected and some of them not the "ha ha" joy we typically think about. There's the joy of watching your baby roll over for the 1st time or the joy of watching them smear icing all over their face from their 1st birthday cake. This week we celebrated with our niece as she pooped in the potty for the 1st time. Then there's the joy of watching them as they finally "get" something you've been trying to teach them for a long time or the joy of seeing them stand up for what they believe in front of their peers. We glow with thankfulness and pride (probably should be just thankfulness, but I have to call it what it is for me sometimes) for the children we see them becoming.

The joys I don't expect (and don't really want) are the ones that happen because of lessons learned during time in the trenches. I have several dear friends going through time in the trenches with their kids right now, and my girls have spent some time there recently as well. We want our kids to continue behaving the way we've told them they are supposed to behave. We want them to continue to want to climb onto our laps and tell us we are the most important person in their world. But part of the growing up process, as we all know, is figuring out who you are as a human being. Unfortunately for parents, this sometimes means they pull away from us for a time, they go beyond limits to see what happens, they cry themselves to sleep, or they live in what seems like a state of utter confusion about what is right and wrong. And we are sometimes left standing by watching it all happen.

I wish I could say I have all the answers to help your child survive these times. What I do have are the promises from God's Word.
Prov. 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he's old he will not depart from it.
Romans 8:26 "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."
Isaiah 40:29-31 "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Micah 6:8 "He has showed you... what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."
And we could go on and on and on...

God's grace is enough for your child and for you. His arms are big enough to hold both you and your children through the trenches. When you run out of parenting options, He's still there. He's still loving your child and offering His grace to them. Pray earnestly for them. It may not seem like enough, because you want to DO something to help them. But it truly is enough. We have to trust in Him. We have no other choice.

And so many parents "on the other side" of these trenches have seen that the joy that comes in the morning after the darkness is so much greater and deeper than any joy they experienced before. That's where we truly find the joy of parenting. I wish they could get there without the pain, but it WILL be worth it.

Constant motion

Robbie has one of those gadgets (one of many) on his desk at work where if you get it going, it won't ever stop unless someone physically stops it. Have you ever felt like that? That's me lately. I feel like my head never stops swirling with the "to do" list and times of when someone has to be picked up or when I have to be here or when this has to be delivered here. It has gotten out of hand.

But never fear! God places things in our lives to force us to slow down. One of these for me was a new ladies mentoring group I'm a part of that meets once a month. We had our 1st meeting last week, and it forced me to slow down for a few hours and just enjoy the fellowship. How nourishing for my soul this was. Of course, as soon as I left, I was back at it. Fighting deadlines, returning phone calls, going through training classes.

Then the weekend came, and I got sick. Well, that will slow you down in a hurry. I've now spent the past 2 days resting. It is difficult not to feel lazy in these times, but I know it was God's way of slowing me down for a bit. It has been a precious time of seeking His Word and praying for people who He brings to mind. A lot of time to listen and be still. So good.

Now, why don't I do this when I feel okay? Not sure, but it needs to change. I need to commit time to being still. Hold me accountable for this, won't you? This is a struggle for me and has been for a long time. I think I grew up thinking if I wasn't "doing" for Christ, then I wasn't doing my job as a Christian. I didn't understand that it's more important to "be" in Christ and to learn from Him than to do. I need to take more time just being with Him.

Let me know how you make sure you have this much needed time on a regular basis. We can all learn from each other.

Higher Ground News Update

We wanted to let everyone know that we are in the final stages of the creation of the family devotional. Many have been asking for this for a while. It has taken over a year, but the songs are being mixed and the devotionals are going through their first edit. Our goal is to have the Family Worship Night book and companion CD available right when everyone is going back to school. That would be a great time to commit to spending time together as a family, even with all of the craziness of school and activities.

Heartbreak

Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. John 14:1

Has your heart been troubled lately? Broken? I'm feeling a little that way today. Okay, a lot that way. It seems like something our family has been hoping for for a long while is not going to be possible, at least not at this time. It makes me naturally feel troubled and heartbroken. But that goes against what God says in John 14:1, so what do I do with that? I'm going to be real here. I would like to scream or cry right now and just wallow in that for a while. But this is one of the verses our family has learned recently, and we've asked God to help us apply these verses to our lives.

So, as much as I don't "feel" like it, I am going to ask God to take the brokenness out of my heart and fill me with joy and peace and trust. I know God has a plan for our family, and He knows what the future will bring. He also is walking with us through this time. I have to cling to that. Because of that, I can find His peace (that is above all of my understanding) and keep seeking Him.

Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. John 14:1

God loves sinners

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy mid-January! Ok, well it's rainy, cold, foggy, and the temps have risen all the way to 38 degrees today in lovely Indiana, so it's a little harder to be happy. I heard recently that the saddest day of the year is January 15th. That's when the bills starting coming in from Christmas, no more holiday get togethers, it's cold and nasty outside, and everyone has the winter blues. So I've been a little more focused on praying for joy this month, because I'm always one to fight the "going" trends especially negative ones. I guess I want to prove them all wrong or something like that. And I have so much to be thankful for, how can I not have joy?

I was watching one of those shows where they give away a house to a family, and the sister of the recipient said it had been a long time since she'd seen her sister really smile like that. She said, "She's happy all the time and always smiling, but this is a cheeks cracking, face splitting in two kind of happy." I want that kind of joy all the time, and I know we don't always live on those highs. But I can still be overflowing with that kind of joy. After all, God loved ME, a sinner!

Over Christmas, Robbie created a mini-home theater in our loft area, and we have enjoyed watching all of our favorite Christmas movies up there. Do you remember the part in Polar Express when Santa comes out and all the elves go crazy? The noise is deafening. It's just like a roar of millions. (Side bar: Robbie loves that part with his new sub-woofer, because it makes you feel the roar in your heart.) I was thinking about that noise and where else would that be heard. You know that when a sinner turns their life over to Christ, all of Heaven rejoices. Imagine Michael and Gabriel hi-fiving each other, and all the cherubs singing out. There could be millions there. We don't know. But I bet the sound is a little like that deafening roar. After all, they all are there to worship God, and God is rejoicing when a sinner repents because He loves that sinner so much. So there's a huge party going on!

It makes me think about the day I came to Christ. I wish I could have heard Heaven that day. I wonder how long the party lasted and how loud they all cheered and sang for my sinful heart that had been made new. Maybe that's something I'll ask if God will share with me when I get to Heaven.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so embarrassed that it's been 3 months since I posted on here. I'm almost thinking what's the point, since everyone has just written me off by now. I really thought things would slow down a bit after the traveling this summer, but it's just been a different kind of busy. Movie premieres, caring for a failing grandma, a few trips, just "stuff" that we all deal with on a regular basis. So I apologize for not getting back on here. Maybe God knew I didn't really have anything important to say :)

I recently wrote a devotional for my friends at Sisters in Scripture on Facebook and wanted to share it with all of you here, too. It's taken from Philippians 3:13-14, which are our ministry's key verses. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

When was the last time you had one of those "mountaintop" experiences? You know the ones I'm talking about, right? Going on a missions trip, being involved with a major outreach event, or attending a retreat or conference where you felt free to experience Jesus and His love and really spend time with Him without any distractions from the outside world. You felt changed, more spiritual somehow, and couldn't keep from smiling from ear to ear.

As a teen, I attended church retreats often and usually came back feeling like it was me and Christ against the world and nothing would beat us. Then I'd get back into everyday life and slowly the things that bugged me before would start getting on my nerves again and the relationships that hurt me would start attacking again, and I would get to the point where I forgot how I felt back at that amazing retreat. I'd feel so guilty, because everyone would say "don't lose that feeling" and "keep up what you learned at that retreat." I didn't know why I couldn't stay on that mountain and felt I had done something wrong.

As a slightly more mature Christian, I've realized that each experience in our lives shouldn't be seen as a mountaintop, but just as another step in our journey. Each of these steps helps us grow and molds us to be more like Christ (if we allow it). But we need to let go of that expectation that it has to be some huge step and light coming down from heaven kind of experience. That is based on feelings, and feelings fluctuate so frequently, especially in women.

Being a part of a recent "Get REAL, InC. missions trip to the Bahamas reminded me about this problem we sometimes have. I know many of us were very moved and changed by the trip, but I want to be sure we don't try to make it about that week. That was a step toward the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. We need to take what we learn from the experiences God allows in our lives and use them to help us take another step toward our Savior.

As the year starts to come to an end, we are tempted to look for the "highlights"-the mountaintop experiences. I challenge you to instead look for those quiet, subtle moments in your year where you look back now and can see that God was working on your heart even then. Count each step toward Him as a significant blessing in your life.

School's here...again

Wow, where did the summer go? Everyone always says that, don't they? I catch myself saying the same thing, then I answer myself (yes, I do that alot once everyone goes back to school) with "you had the same # of days you've always had. You need to take a minute and enjoy each one." And I'm right :) But now, whether I rushed through my summer days or not, it's over, and where does that leave me? Well, swamped with work that's piled up for one thing. And alone, for another thing.

A friend of mine said to me the other day that she doesn't do alone very well. I, on the other hand, love my alone time. I love getting lost in my thoughts and whatever I'm doing and not have to answer questions or talk to anyone for a while. What I'm not good at, however, is being still. So even when I'm alone, I feel like I need to be "doing" all the time. I'm not sure why I have so much trouble being still, but it definitely carries over into my time with the Lord. I can be easily distracted by my work, my jobs at home, and my volunteer time at the girls' school and excuse the fact that I didn't kneel before the throne of the Almighty today because what I was doing was important stuff too that needed to get done.

Yes, I know. It sounded really pathetic when I said it out loud, too. But that's way too often the way I live. Psalm 16:11 says, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." How do I know the path of life and joy and eternal pleasures if I'm not seeking Him? He can't make known something to me if I'm not even listening. He can't give me joy if I'm not spending time in His presence.

I'm not sure why it is such a tough thing for women to stop multi-tasking and just be still before Him. But I know one thing. I'm going to sign off, so I can spend time with Him right now. Do you need to do the same?