God loves sinners

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy mid-January! Ok, well it's rainy, cold, foggy, and the temps have risen all the way to 38 degrees today in lovely Indiana, so it's a little harder to be happy. I heard recently that the saddest day of the year is January 15th. That's when the bills starting coming in from Christmas, no more holiday get togethers, it's cold and nasty outside, and everyone has the winter blues. So I've been a little more focused on praying for joy this month, because I'm always one to fight the "going" trends especially negative ones. I guess I want to prove them all wrong or something like that. And I have so much to be thankful for, how can I not have joy?

I was watching one of those shows where they give away a house to a family, and the sister of the recipient said it had been a long time since she'd seen her sister really smile like that. She said, "She's happy all the time and always smiling, but this is a cheeks cracking, face splitting in two kind of happy." I want that kind of joy all the time, and I know we don't always live on those highs. But I can still be overflowing with that kind of joy. After all, God loved ME, a sinner!

Over Christmas, Robbie created a mini-home theater in our loft area, and we have enjoyed watching all of our favorite Christmas movies up there. Do you remember the part in Polar Express when Santa comes out and all the elves go crazy? The noise is deafening. It's just like a roar of millions. (Side bar: Robbie loves that part with his new sub-woofer, because it makes you feel the roar in your heart.) I was thinking about that noise and where else would that be heard. You know that when a sinner turns their life over to Christ, all of Heaven rejoices. Imagine Michael and Gabriel hi-fiving each other, and all the cherubs singing out. There could be millions there. We don't know. But I bet the sound is a little like that deafening roar. After all, they all are there to worship God, and God is rejoicing when a sinner repents because He loves that sinner so much. So there's a huge party going on!

It makes me think about the day I came to Christ. I wish I could have heard Heaven that day. I wonder how long the party lasted and how loud they all cheered and sang for my sinful heart that had been made new. Maybe that's something I'll ask if God will share with me when I get to Heaven.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm so embarrassed that it's been 3 months since I posted on here. I'm almost thinking what's the point, since everyone has just written me off by now. I really thought things would slow down a bit after the traveling this summer, but it's just been a different kind of busy. Movie premieres, caring for a failing grandma, a few trips, just "stuff" that we all deal with on a regular basis. So I apologize for not getting back on here. Maybe God knew I didn't really have anything important to say :)

I recently wrote a devotional for my friends at Sisters in Scripture on Facebook and wanted to share it with all of you here, too. It's taken from Philippians 3:13-14, which are our ministry's key verses. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

When was the last time you had one of those "mountaintop" experiences? You know the ones I'm talking about, right? Going on a missions trip, being involved with a major outreach event, or attending a retreat or conference where you felt free to experience Jesus and His love and really spend time with Him without any distractions from the outside world. You felt changed, more spiritual somehow, and couldn't keep from smiling from ear to ear.

As a teen, I attended church retreats often and usually came back feeling like it was me and Christ against the world and nothing would beat us. Then I'd get back into everyday life and slowly the things that bugged me before would start getting on my nerves again and the relationships that hurt me would start attacking again, and I would get to the point where I forgot how I felt back at that amazing retreat. I'd feel so guilty, because everyone would say "don't lose that feeling" and "keep up what you learned at that retreat." I didn't know why I couldn't stay on that mountain and felt I had done something wrong.

As a slightly more mature Christian, I've realized that each experience in our lives shouldn't be seen as a mountaintop, but just as another step in our journey. Each of these steps helps us grow and molds us to be more like Christ (if we allow it). But we need to let go of that expectation that it has to be some huge step and light coming down from heaven kind of experience. That is based on feelings, and feelings fluctuate so frequently, especially in women.

Being a part of a recent "Get REAL, InC. missions trip to the Bahamas reminded me about this problem we sometimes have. I know many of us were very moved and changed by the trip, but I want to be sure we don't try to make it about that week. That was a step toward the prize for which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. We need to take what we learn from the experiences God allows in our lives and use them to help us take another step toward our Savior.

As the year starts to come to an end, we are tempted to look for the "highlights"-the mountaintop experiences. I challenge you to instead look for those quiet, subtle moments in your year where you look back now and can see that God was working on your heart even then. Count each step toward Him as a significant blessing in your life.

School's here...again

Wow, where did the summer go? Everyone always says that, don't they? I catch myself saying the same thing, then I answer myself (yes, I do that alot once everyone goes back to school) with "you had the same # of days you've always had. You need to take a minute and enjoy each one." And I'm right :) But now, whether I rushed through my summer days or not, it's over, and where does that leave me? Well, swamped with work that's piled up for one thing. And alone, for another thing.

A friend of mine said to me the other day that she doesn't do alone very well. I, on the other hand, love my alone time. I love getting lost in my thoughts and whatever I'm doing and not have to answer questions or talk to anyone for a while. What I'm not good at, however, is being still. So even when I'm alone, I feel like I need to be "doing" all the time. I'm not sure why I have so much trouble being still, but it definitely carries over into my time with the Lord. I can be easily distracted by my work, my jobs at home, and my volunteer time at the girls' school and excuse the fact that I didn't kneel before the throne of the Almighty today because what I was doing was important stuff too that needed to get done.

Yes, I know. It sounded really pathetic when I said it out loud, too. But that's way too often the way I live. Psalm 16:11 says, "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." How do I know the path of life and joy and eternal pleasures if I'm not seeking Him? He can't make known something to me if I'm not even listening. He can't give me joy if I'm not spending time in His presence.

I'm not sure why it is such a tough thing for women to stop multi-tasking and just be still before Him. But I know one thing. I'm going to sign off, so I can spend time with Him right now. Do you need to do the same?

Giving up YOUR Desires

We went school shopping yesterday--always a fun day for me to take out the girls and let them pick out their paper, notebooks, folders, etc. I'm not sure why that's such a blast for kids, but it really is. Then we go to lunch somewhere fun and spend the afternoon getting their tennis shoes for the year and a couple of outfits. We had such a blast, and the girls actually remembered to say thank you after we left EVERY store. It was really unbelievable!

Our last stop of the day was the Bible bookstore to spend gift cards they had received. They were so excited to see what they could get for their money. As soon as we walked in the door, Jadyn saw a book she knew I wanted and immediately offered to use her money to buy it for me. She argued with me for a minute or two, then was convinced she should use it for something she wanted. They went through the store choosing several items, and for once, Courtney was ready well before Jadyn. Courtney wasn't aware of the conversation with Jadyn, but she saw the same book she knew I wanted. Without my knowledge, she put back a CD she had been wanting for over a year and purchased the book for my birthday. Unfortunately, I didn't know and when I asked to see the CD in the car I was rewarded with tears and "I didn't want you to know. I wanted it to be a surprise!" I felt terrible, but also so grateful for such unselfish little girls.

I'm not telling you this to brag on my kids. Really. Today, she reminded me what totally selfless giving is all about and got me thinking about how often I act that way in my life. Of course, I would give up anything for those I love, but what about those I don't know? What about those who don't like me or treat me well? The Bible says to love our enemies and bless those who persecute us. Do I act like that?

And let's take it a step further. Am I willing to give up my own desires for my Heavenly Father? If I really want to do something, would I give that up if I know God would have me do something else? Even in small matters, like how we spend our extra money. Do I use it all for His glory and good? I hope so. It's easy to say I would give up my own desires for Him, but when we're in that specific situation where it's something we really, really want and it seems soooo "right", do we give it up for Him?

Wrecked Still...

Well, we're back from our missions trip to Guatemala and trying to get back into the swing of "regular" life. The trip was way too short for us to emotionally grapple with everything we needed to while there. So now, we all keep revisiting different issues and emotions and processing and praying through things together. The word we keep coming back to is "wrecked." People have asked us to share about the trip, but to be honest we don't really know how to put the experience into words. Let me start with the praises...

Our travels were safe and without complication. One couple on the team missed their flight and had to arrive by way of LA, but finally made it the next morning. No one was injured or sick while there. We all received the food and nutrition we needed and had warm beds to sleep in at night. God was able to use the resources and talents we brought with us to accomplish several things including a mini-makeover in the baby house, new paint in one of the teen boys' houses, new meds in the clinic, new shoes on some feet, craft and story time with the toddlers, doing nails and hair with toddlers and older girls, and helping feed and care for the babies. We experienced a beautiful church service with freedom in their worship like I've never seen before and sat in on youth group and a school music class.

Even with all God allowed us to accomplish, we felt very inadequate when compared to the vast needs at the orphanage and the country as a whole. We saw some of the destruction from the recent natural disasters and the extreme poverty the country deals with every day. In one view, we could see the poverty in the valley, and the great wealth in the mountains above. The staff at the orphanage are doing an amazing job with the resources they have, but they need so much more. The delays in the development of the children are very evident, and there are nutrition deficits. But the saddest thing for me was looking into their eyes and seeing a detachment there that is indescribable. If you can engage them, their whole face lights up. But many times there is just a stare with...uncertainty or fear, I'm not sure which. It's as if strangers come and go so much that they don't want to attach themselves emotionally to anyone.

God allowed us to get "close" to a few of the children, including a 2 yr old little girl who we'll call Y. We would love to bring her home one day, if at all possible. As well as a 3 yr old little boy we'll call J. We also were able to form relationships with a couple of the house parents and plan to continue to keep in touch and support and pray for them. They asked us to pray for loneliness and acceptance among the other staff, more male house parents to give the children a father-figure, health concerns, and of course the children.

We still are shedding tears off and on as our hearts ache for the little ones we left. We're grateful for all He's given us here in the States, but we would love to be able to share it with them.

The pictures tell the story probably as well as, if not better than, we do. If you would like to take a look at the pictures, we'll have them up on our Facebook page in the next day or two (http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Higher-Ground/62792533430?ref=ts). Thank you so much for your prayers.

Wrecked

Day 3 of the trip: The word for the trip is "wrecked". It's heartbreaking to see these children in need of fathers and a real home with a forever mommy. Courtney (and thus I) broke down last night as her heart broke for these little ones. I feel constantly in a state of near-tears, but also at the same time want to give these children fun, love and laughter while I can. We've talked about as sad as it is for us to see what these children are lacking, they have FAR more than many, many others in Guatemala. When we arrived at the airport, a little boy no older than 6 (if that), asked to carry our luggage so he could make a little money for his family. He just wanders around the airport asking to help all day.

God has answered so many of our requests while we're here. He's given us weather that's not too hot, taken care of Robbie's arms, allowed us to really serve, and opened our eyes a little more to the needs of others. Our major goals were to be selfless servants and to build a relationship with at least 1 person that went below the surface. I've been able to encourage the English-speaking staff members, but it's been hard with the Spanish-speaking staff.

The most frustrating part for me of the whole trip has been the inability to communicate well with so many of them-staff and children. Many know a little English, but still I can't understand what they're saying to me or each other. It's been really difficult. Of course, the kids don't care, but it kills me. So I'm praying that God will release me from this barrier I'm feeling and allow me to feel effective despite this barrier.

Thank you for your prayers and support. Only 2 more full days left. It's going very quickly.

Blogging

We're going to try to blog while we're away, but we may not have a chance until we get back. We appreciate your prayers for safety, good health, and that we will stay strong the whole time we're there. Also pray for servants' hearts in each of us.